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April Fools! Silly – BUT TRUE! – California Laws

April Fools! Silly – BUT TRUE! – California Laws

Laws found via DumbLaws.com

    Happy April Fool’s Day to all! In the spirit of the holiday, today we will be giving you a treat… without pulling your leg! We have compiled a list of some of the silliest – but TRUE! – laws belonging to some great California cities. Is your city on the list?
    In Arcadia, peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways. But only because peacocks are total divas, fanning their tailfeathers like that. Who do you think you are, peacocks? Beyoncé?
    In Baldwin Park, nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. I’m sure we have one specific person with impaired judgment to thank for this one. (“Hey guys! Watch this!”)
    In Belvedere, City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” Yes, dogs, it is up to you to keep your human on its leash! And please pick up after your human, we will not tolerate messes around here.
    In Blythe, you are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. Really, I think this law should apply everywhere. Too many fake “cowboys” out there thinking they can wear the boots without committing to the lifestyle, it makes me sick! Cowboy boots for true cowboys only!
    In Carmel, a man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. This law was enacted during the brief two-day period when the Carmel mayor’s office was overtaken by the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (That last sentence was a lie.) Also in Carmel, ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. Well somebody is a real killjoy, now aren’t they? Luckily for the residents of Carmel, this law was repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor! (That last sentence was NOT a lie, surprisingly!)
In Chico, bowling on the sidewalk is illegal. Ah yes, nothing worse than unwanted gangs of bowling leagues hosting illegal sidewalk tournaments while you try to walk to work. What a nuisance.  Also in Chico, detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. Because they’re really going to be able to fine you after that.
    In Dana Point, one may not use one’s own restroom if the window is open. We don’t want to know what you’re doing in there!
    In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women. If you’re a man in Eureka being pursued by a lady whom you don’t quite fancy, simply grow a moustache and inform her, “Sorry, it’s the law.”
    In Fresno, no one may annoy a lizard in a city park. Finally, a city standing up for lizards’ rights! It is also illegal to sell gasoline to a drunken person in Fresno. Because really, what are they going to do with it? Drive? Getting drunk on a playground is also against the law, which is sad because that actually sounds kind of fun. And speaking of outlawed fun, Fresno elementary schools may not host poker tournaments. The pre-teen gambling was just getting out of hand.
    In Glendale (where the Bradley & Gmelich office is located!), it is illegal to jump into a passing car. Cars also may not be driven in reverse, and one may not take his dog on an elevator with him. This is terrible news, I was planning on taking the elevator downstairs with my dog today to jump into my friend’s car as he drives it in reverse down Brand Boulevard! Now my afternoon is ruined.
    In Hermosa Beach, it is illegal to pour salt on a highway. I blame the Slugs’ Rights Activists for this one.
    In Hollywood, it is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time. So 1,999 sheep is okay, then?
    In Indian Wells, it is illegal for a trumpet player to play his instrument with the intention of luring someone to a store. Is Indian Wells located in a 1920s cartoon? Well, at least drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited by law there. Wait, what?! How dense do you have to be to do that? As dense as cement, at least!
    In Long Beach, it is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course. I personally know a lot of people who have broken this law, should I call the cops on them?
    In Los Angeles, you may not hunt moths under a street light. This will prove problematic for those who make their living in the lucrative Los Angeles moth-hunt trade. Also in LA, toads may not be licked (no matter how delicious they may look). But on the bright side, the law says nothing about kissing toads! Ladies, the search for your prince continues in LA!
    In Pacific Grove, it is illegal to molest butterflies. I’m amazed that this was actually a problem severe enough to require a law.
    In Palm Springs, it is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM. But only between the hours of four and six. Every other time of day is fine, apparently.
    In Portola, no person may carry a fish into a bar. (Novelty singing bass excluded.)
    In Redlands, motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. I can only assume that everyone must also be wearing a powdered wig and dandy coat while doing so.
    In San Diego, it is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar. Even if it would be “worth ten points.”
    In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one’s car with used underwear. That is grossly specific. Ew. Just… ew. On that same note, in San Francisco, persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street. My question is… who’s doing the classifying here? It is also illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner, which bums me out because I was planning on building a 6-foot-tall manure fort. San Francisco law also prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street, unless they are on a leash. If you don’t have a leash, you can just ask the dogs from Belvedere.
    Didn’t find your city on the list? If not, do not fear! The entire state of California has some delightfully silly statewide laws, such as “women may not drive in a house coat”! And ladies, while you’re leaving your house coats at home, watch out for those self-driving phantom ghost cars, because in California, no vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour!
    These are just some of the silly laws belonging to great California cities. To see more, or to see silly laws for other states, please visit DumbLaws.com! Happy April Fool’s Day, everyone!


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